telapathetic:

the only disadvantage to cereal is you cant hear anything while watching tv

inspiring:

mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor

messyfeathers:

me in real life:

me online:

athomewithlana:

pxxies:

self-respect is my respect for myself

i could as well suck 3 thousand dicks and still respect myself so shut the fuck up

Hell I would respect u for sucking 3 thousand dicks

pemsylvania:

so apparently it is against the hospital rules for me to practice stunts on my bike in their parking lot??? why?? because I might get hurt??? good thing I’m at the hospital

5sauceassbutt:

luke, aged 14

5sauceassbutt:

luke, aged 14

digimoron:

SO I WAS GETTING ON THE BUS TODAY AND TO GUIDE MYSELF I GRAB THE SEATS BUT I MISSED AND GRABBED THE TOP OF THIS LIL MIDDLE SCHOOLERS HEAD LIKE A CLAW MACHINE

HE CRIED

taxicar:

choking on a food you love is the ultimate betrayal 

(Source: taxicar)

clubpenguln:

Rock, paper, scissors, pencil, eraser. I thought we were naming office supplies. Why do I have a rock

svveden:

svveden:

what do you call a sphere full of idiots

earth

gorilllas:

@myself what the fuck are you doing

(Source: hayleu)

thequeenvevo:

"yeah i used to like you too"

image

and not a single f*** was given

(Source: titansdaughter)